Posted by: Court | October 16, 2009

Sleep in Heavenly Peace

Yesterday was National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  It was a busy day as it was our last CRHP meeting, and our first day in the new office at work! I am exhausted and can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow.

I went to Hal.lmark after work yesterday to pick up some Boss’ Day cards, and decided to browse a bit before I checked out. The Christmas ornaments were out and I saw so many that I wanted. When I first walked in, I saw one of a man and woman snowman holding a tiny baby snowman. I stared at it for a while, wishing that I could have bought it for our baby who was due two days after Christmas this year. I moved on to the other ornaments and saw a First Home one that I wanted, and another snowman one that was just a couple with a heart and was so cute. I saw another baby one I would have loved – a small baby in a pea pod with a ribbon attached that said “Baby’s First Christmas 2009.” My heart was heavy.

I moved over another section and saw some really nice Holy Family ornaments that I liked, but they were a bit pricey. I usually wait until the day after Christmas and go to Ko.hl’s and clean up on Hal.lmark ornaments! 🙂 I’ll hopefully find a Holy Family one this year. But then I saw one that stopped me in my tracks and took my breath away. It was a candle, and laying next to the candle on the “dish” part of the candle holder was a small boy with light brown hair, a blue nightgown and angel wings. Written on the candle holder was “Sleep in Heavenly Peace.” I just about lost it. I knew I had to have it, no matter the price.

I went to pay and tried to use a coupon, but apparently they’re not valid on the Kee.psake Orna.ments. I didn’t care; I said I’d take it anyway. A candle on the day I was to light a candle for our son, a sleeping little boy with angel wings and the words “Sleep in Heavenly Peace.” It was truly Heaven sent. So fitting on that day, that God would direct me to the perfect ornament.

I lit Tim’s and my CRHP candles together last night – he was out of town on a business trip. I expected to be a lot more emotional, but I didn’t cry at all. I just felt peace and relaxation. It was wonderful.

Today is five months since we lost our sweet baby boy. It is also the feast day for St. Gerard Majella. Again, how fitting! It’s amazing to see God at work in the little details.

I am 9 dpo and feeling very peaceful about this cycle. I’m not focusing on the agonizing days of waiting that lie ahead. It is what it is, and it’s all God’s.

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