Posted by: Court | November 30, 2009

Goodbye, baby girl

What a hellish couple of weeks it has been. My OB’s nurse called November 16 to say that my hcg was only at 1,736 at almost 8 weeks pregnant. It was abundantly clear that this pregnancy would not come to term. She said they were worried about an ectopic pregnancy, so she scheduled me to go in to the office on November 19th.

On Tuesday the 17th, I had some pain on my right side, but it wasn’t severe enough to concern me. I went to bed, got up the next morning and the pain wasn’t as bad. So I headed in to work early. On the drive in, the pain got a bit worse, but not much. Just more noticeable. Since I was in the office early, I decided to research ectopic pregnancy. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so I got scared that what I interpreted as a mild amount of pain could actually be more serious than I thought.

There’s a hospital two blocks from our office, so I notified our HR manager and headed for the ER. Tim was on a job site and was unreachable since they had already started the show. I called Beth to tell her that I’d be putting her down as my emergency contact, since I knew she’d be more readily reachable in case of emergency surgery. She dropped everything at work and met me at the ER. I was already back in a room by that point. I’ve been to the ER before for myself and others, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen such quick action. They called me back immediately after I filled out the paperwork (just a few lines).

Basically, after six or so hours, a pelvic exam, bloodwork, ultrasound, and meeting with the head ER doc and OB on-call (Tim was able to find a replacement for the gig and made it to the hospital. Beth had stayed with me the entire time.), they released me. They hadn’t seen an ectopic on the ultrasound, and said the pain was probably related to a corpus luteum cyst on my ovary.

I went home and rested, knowing I had an appointment with my OB anyway the next day. We went to his office and had an ultrasound first. The tech left the room after the u/s to show the photos to the OB. Tim told me that he saw a bunch of things being circled on the u/s screen. The tech came back and told us that it was what the OB had expected – I had a tubal (ectopic) pregnancy in my right tube. That explained the pain all right! Our baby had a fetal pole, which is a good sign. She had just implanted in the wrong place, so she didn’t have the right nutrients to grow more (a good thing, since she was in my tube – it could have ruptured and killed me).

We met with my OB soon afterwards and he explained my options: methotrexate shot or laparoscopic surgery. There weren’t many side effects mentioned with the shot, so it seemed like an obvious choice. I’d gone in to his office with a long list of things I wanted to be tested for had it been another miscarriage. He asked if I had any questions and I just stammered. He said he understood that I’d just been given a lot of information. I asked about an HSG before we try again, and Tim asked about statistics on pregnancies after ectopics.

A few minutes later, I had one shot in each of my hips. We went upstairs to have some bloodwork done, and by the time we got back to our car across the street, I was starting to have some pretty strong cramps. I called my office to say that I would just come by to pick up some work to do at home, and they told me to just get some rest. We picked up my prescription for and wen home.

To make a long story somewhat shorter, I had to go back to the ER Saturday morning with extreme pain – the u/s showed that everything was dissolving normally. The OB hadn’t prepared me for this type of pain, which the ER doc told me was to be expected. I had some morphine put in my IV and was sent home with a prescription for I didn’t eat anything but dry toast, applesauce and rice for four days. I eventually had to get a prescription for anti-nausea medication (I have since found out that methotrexate is a form of chemo, so nausea was to be expected as well – again, something I was NOT adequately prepared for), which allowed me to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner.

We lost our sweet baby girl at 8 weeks, and are in no hurry to start trying again like we were when we lost our son in May. I’ve lost two precious babies in six months’ time. It’s time to focus on healing more completely. I’m going to start working out again and scrapbooking – something I haven’t really done in almost a year.

We have named her and I already found the perfect ornament for her, so that each baby will have an ornament on our tree this year. I’ll go pick it up this week.

I am thankful to God for such a supportive workplace, that allowed me to take six days off without question, told me to take all the time I needed, and whom I am greatly looking forward to seeing tomorrow.

I am thankful for my amazing husband who took such good care of me when I couldn’t move with all the pain and nausea this past week. He didn’t bat an eyelash while fixing me copious amounts of toast (with the crust cut off!), running to get my prescriptions and Gatorade, taking my temperature, driving me to the ER at 5:30 a.m….what a blessing he is.

I am thankful for a wonderful new friendship with some friends from church. Tim’s CRHP brother and his wife were at a wedding with us last night (as well as some other people from our church who we didn’t know that well), and we all left feeling so close. I’ll get into that more in another post…


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