Posted by: Court | January 18, 2010

Decisions, decisions

We had some fun with our goddaughter (I’ll call her “A”) yesterday. She will turn two the day before my birthday (coming up quickly!) and she is learning so much!

Here are some highlights:

– When Tim opened the door, I was sitting by the couch eating lunch. A ran inside and ran up to me to give me a hug.

– She was very fascinated with our cats. If we held Mia, she’d let A pet her. One time A pet too hard and Mia hissed and A looked at me and said, “uh oh!!”

– I asked A if she’d like to show Mia her toys. She held out her hand in front of Mia’s face then looked at me and smiled. Then she hugged Mia! It was so sweet.

– I said, “Say, ‘Hi Mia!'” and A said, “Hi, meow!”

– When we went to dinner I said, “Bye, house” and she said that allllll the way to the restaurant.


I asked Tim if he would read the adoption chapter in Navigating the Land of If , since it is straightforward and basic – not too overwhelming. I figured it was the perfect place for him to start. So he read it last night and then we had a nice long conversation about what we thought.

He said he’s not ready to give up on a biological child yet. I said I’m not either – I’m just feeling called to adopt at this point in time. I did my best to explain the reasons why I think having an open adoption would be the most beneficial to everyone involved. But I think he needs to hear it from someone who’s lived it, so I sent him the link to my co-worker’s friend’s blog. She has a very open adoption, but it works for them. I told him I might not be comfortable with that degree of openness, but reading her blog has made me see the reasons that having the birth mom (and possibly birth father) in the picture would be beneficial.

I’m just kind of letting it all stew right now.


My temp has gone down the past two days, but I’ve been having early symptoms of pg in this 2ww. I know them as such since I was pregnant so recently. But we’ll see. I don’t have my hopes up much.

I think I’m going to take this next month off of everything ttc related anyway. I don’t want the HSG just yet. I didn’t have enough time to get all the blood work and glucose tolerance test done, and frankly, I’m tired of being stabbed with needles right now. Not that it hurts; it’s just depressing. I’m not sure if I want to get a second opinion before or after the HSG (if I decide to proceed at all).



  1. I loved that chapter in The Land of IF. The whole book is such a good guide.

    I am in a wide open adoption, as well, with my daughter’s firstparents. Not so open with my son’s.

    Good luck during the 2ww. I hear you about being sick and tired of needles.

    Wishing you well on your path to parenthood.

  2. Thank you for your sweet comment.

    If anything comes up that I might help with, just let me know.

    Still crossing fingers about your 2ww.

  3. Thinking of you today. I know this road can be so tough.

    Little Green Pastures

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