Posted by: Court | April 22, 2010

6 weeks, 1 day

It started off as the morning from Hades. I got up early, feeling queasy and nervous, and got ready for the day and my u/s appointment. I was really upset that Tim couldn’t go with me, but such is the life of a freelancer’s wife. : )

I got my lunch and snacks ready to go, then went to look for our GPS. It was nowhere to be found. I was throwing up prayers to St. Anthony, which are usually quite helpful, but I was at a loss! I tried calling Tim, and A.T&.T was being ridiculous and dropping every single call I tried to make. I was getting frustrated quickly. I tried texting him, knowing he probably wouldn’t hear it if he was in the car.

I finally said out loud, “Please, Jesus, I need this to work!” and my next phone call went through. : ) Turns out, we’d left the GPS in my car the last time we went to the RE under the front passenger seat (I can’t believe we forgot to take it out, but it seems to be no worse for the wear).

I had also written out directions from maps (easier to read my big handwriting than the tiny print-out directions), so I brought them with me. Long story somewhat shorter, I spent over TWO HOURS trying to get to the doc’s downtown location, wandering through all the crazy one-way streets downtown, because A) I only copied the address down as 800 XX Street, when it was 3800 XX Street. That was due to my hasty copy/pasting of the address into maps. and B) Even when I did put in the correct address, the GPS was still telling me to turn all kinds of weird ways, even when I was already on XX Street!!

This is the first time my GPS has really steered me wrong, but I was panicking, as Tim couldn’t talk very long, I couldn’t get the doc’s office to answer the phone, and I was watching the minutes tick by on the clock to 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes past my appointment time.

I finally arrived (really due to trial and error), angrily unplugged my GPS, threw it in my purse and hurried out of the car. I went inside and the staff was SO sweet. I was really surprised and half-expected them to be pissed that I was so late. But the office was empty (the office I usually visit is always busy, busy, busy) and they said they understood and that people often get confused with the directions. I literally waited five minutes and was called back.

The nurse was also so sweet and a very calming presence, especially after I told her of my ectopic and I just wanted to be sure that the baby was in the right place. Immediately after she started the u/s it was clear that baby was in the perfect place, nestled inside my uterus instead of my fracking tube.

The great thing about this doc’s offices is that he has a giant flat screen TV for patients to watch the ultrasounds, so you’re not craning your neck to see the tech’s screen or read his/her face. Anyway, she showed me the baby with her pointer and I thought I could see a flickering, but I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. She had said we might not be able to see the heartbeat this early, so I wasn’t anticipating it. But she said, “Oh, hey, I see the heartbeat!” So. Cool.

I put my hands on my head and almost said out loud, “Thank you, Jesus.” I wish I would have, in fact. Instead I said it in my head, and fought back the tears welling up in my eyes. The baby measures at 6 weeks, 1 day, +/- 2 days (I am a charting genius, apparently, because I had calculated 5 weeks, 6 days, even without knowing when I ovulated – just based on s.ex.).

When the nurse left me to change back into my clothes, I snapped a pic of the u/s photo with my phone and texted it to Tim with the message “Meet our baby!!!!!!!” I then went to the lab to have my progesterone checked. As that was all happening, Tim texted me six times. He was so excited.

I know they say once you see the heartbeat that you have such a super-small chance of m/c, but of course I’m still a bit antsy. I know I ovulated late and had read things in the past about that not being ideal, but this one feels right. With the first one, I had an awful feeling it wouldn’t end well. With the second, I was wishy-washy. With this one, I just feel like now is our time. Weird? Maybe.

Tim’s mom has just entered hospice care and Tim said he believes our baby will be healthy because his mom will soon be leaving Earth and not too long after, our baby is due to enter it. The circle of life.

Also, there was talk of having me take Pr.o.ver.a again this cycle since I hadn’t started AF last time I was at the RE. He couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t started AF, since it looked like I had ovulated from my left ovary (the good side, after the ectopic). So that’s when he had the blood tests done and said not to take Pr.o.ver.a until we had those results back. Well, I never heard the results because I found out I was pregnant and they became irrelevant. Interesting timing in all of this. That if I had gone ahead and taken the Pr.o.ver.a, it would have been disastrous. Interesting that the results seemed to be “taking longer than usual”…God was up to something!

Nausea has started to get feisty. I never had much nausea with Joy, and with Daniel, I had none. Yesterday on the way to work I was trying to determine if it would be easier to pull over on the tollway to throw up, or if I should try to contain it in the Target bag I’d brought along. Thankfully I was able to keep it down. I force-fed myself some Saltines and felt a bit better, but overall, yesterday was rough. Today it’s not quite as bad, but I am finding it necessary to be eating once an hour or so, or I start feeling bad again.

I am exhausted, simply put. Going to bed around 8:30 – 9, though insomnia (that’s a new one!) has haunted my sleep for the past couple of weeks. Before my BFP I was wondering why I kept waking up. I NEVER wake up in the middle of the night. Now it makes sense. I wake up, and either have to pee, feel queasy, or can’t get back to sleep. Or a combination of the three.

But none of it matters. I am so thankful for these not-so-joyous reminders of the oh-so-joyous bundle that’s growing inside of me.


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