Posted by: Court | May 20, 2010

P.il.ls

I really don’t know what to do about all of the p.il.ls I currently have to take. My OB gave me a couple of sample boxes of a slightly smaller prenatal, so I thought that might help. But he also recommended that I start taking a DHA supplement as well, which is just about as big as the new prenatal, and is an extra pi.ll to swallow, which is not easy on my nighttime-queasy tummy.

I counted eight p.il.ls I had to take last night. I took the big ones first to get them out of the way. It takes a long time to psyche myself up, and I never had trouble swallowing p.il.ls pre-pregnancy. I got half-way through, and one of the Pro.me.trium p.il.ls didn’t quite make it all the way down. So I had to stay calm and swallow some more water. About five seconds after it was down, I threw back the covers and ran to the restroom.

Unfortunately (maybe TMI for queasy tummies), I threw up right as I walked into the bathroom. One of our poor kitties was sitting not too far away and she got really freaked out. I made it to the toilet for the rest, and sweet Tim cleaned up the bit that I’d gotten on the floor. I felt better for a little bit after that, but still had a bit of trouble sleeping and my tummy still hurt.

Right now I just feel depressed and pathetic. All I do is wake up, lay in bed for five-ish minutes to try to work off the nausea, go to work, feel the worst from 4 p.m. on, making the drive home miserable, try to at least eat some crackers, try not to throw up, try to get comfortable on my side (my hips hurt sleeping this way!), and go to bed between 6:30 – 8:30, depending on how sick I feel. My life consists of forcing down food, feeling queasy, throwing up, working and sleeping. It’s why the work weeks are so long and miserable for me. I have no outside life, nothing to enjoy.

I know it sounds like I’m complaining a lot for someone who wanted a baby so badly, and it’s true. I’ve re-read my posts where I’m longing to be pregnant and they give me some perspective. But it’s still very difficult to do this every day. I’ve been reading The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy and she talks about the same thing. She dealt with infertility and then when she got pregnant she was miserable. She called it “progesterone poisoning,” and I think that’s pretty accurate!

I am grateful for this tiny gift, and I make sure to thank God for him or her in my prayers, but as Tim said to my belly last night, “Quit acting up in there!”

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Posted by: Court | May 19, 2010

10 weeks, new OB

For the past two nights, I have woken up in the wee hours of this morning and couldn’t fall back asleep or get comfortable. We have a queen bed, and I can’t imagine how we’re going to fit a growing belly and a pregnancy pillow in there with the two of us – especially given how much I move in my sleep and how tall Tim is.

The insomnia thing – I was reading about it the other day and the woman said she’d just get out of bed and clean or do laundry. Hmmm…maybe the desire to be productive at 2 a.m. will come in the nesting phase of my third trimester? But for now, I just sit there with random songs running through my head and pray that I’ll fall back asleep quickly. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if I didn’t have to get up and go to work, you know?

As previously mentioned, I called my old OB’s nurse at 9:30 on Thursday morning. I still have not heard back from her as of Wednesday afternoon. I have deemed this unacceptable and have already made the switch-eroo to my friend’s OB. I called Monday morning and they called me back within 30 minutes. I was able to get an appointment for this morning! Now, that’s what I call service. The woman I spoke with was really kind and easy-going, and as I found out today, so is the rest of the office staff.

So: today’s appointment. I finally got to do an abdominal u/s!! So glad to have “graduated” to those. : ) Baby is measuring at 10 weeks today (one day ahead of schedule, though I imagine that fluctuates) and has a heart rate of 168! I got to hear it for the first time today (I’d only seen it at appointments with the RE) and it was pretty crazy. Baby did some more dancing and waving, and the doc said, “It just couldn’t look any better.”

He was very friendly, easy to talk to, informative, and didn’t rush me in the least. He answered all of my questions, gave me samples of a different prenatal since the one I’m currently taking is difficult to ingest, recommended some B6 and half of a Unisom to help with the night queasiness (when it’s worst right now) and sent me on my way with a packet of fun baby goodies – including a hearty book that looks like it will be my go-to for the rest of the pregnancy.

I’ll see him again in two weeks (Tim is working AGAIN and is pretty bummed), then probably only monthly until the third trimester. Which, holy cow, is only 14 weeks away! I am officially 25% through this pregnancy!

Last night was rough – Tim had cooked himself a steak on the grill and I flipped out, accusing him of knowing that it would upset my tummy. Then I saw that he had taken an old shirt of mine (which *did* have a hole) and used it to clean his golf clubs. I had mentioned a while back that I was going to use it to make a blanket since it was so soft. So I got ticked about that as well and sulked upstairs to our bedroom.

A few minutes later I called down to him and asked him to come upstairs and sit with me. I apologized for being so crazy and started crying, saying I was tired of feeling sick, I wanted to eat normal food again, and “I don’t think I can go through another pregnancy. This is going to be our only child!” He said, “That’s fine,” while we both know we will probably have another. I just can’t imagine not having a sibling (he can – he is an only child and has turned out wonderfully, obviously : ) ).

I have apparently lost five pounds since I got pregnant. I was asking the OB about baby getting nutrition, and he said the yolk sac nourishes the baby for the first trimester, so I should just eat whenever I can. I only have two doses of Crin.one left (Friday and Sunday), then at 12 weeks I get to start weaning off Pro.me.trium, so hopefully the m/s will go away soon! Pro.me.trium never seemed to make me sick, either, so hopefully I’ll feel a bit better after the Crin.one is out of my system.

Posted by: Court | May 14, 2010

Search for a new OB

First of all, I am LONGING to want food again. I have all of these grand ideas for meals for when I feel better again. Everything from fancy dinners downtown to a simple plate of sour cream chicken enchiladas (complete with the most delicious rice and refried beans topped with cheese. I literally clean my plate every time.) from a mom and pop place nearby.

But at the same time, I’ve eaten Rice Krispies for lunch every day this week. I didn’t really eat dinner Wednesday night. And last night I ate probably 1/2 of the turkey and 1/2 of the cornbread for a kid’s meal from Boston Mar.ket. Which was forced.

Good news? I can start the process of weaning off Crin.one tomorrow, and will be completely done with it by the 23rd (only six more doses!). I will start Pro.me.trium back up tonight and take 200mg/night until 12 weeks, when I will begin weaning off that as well. All told, I should be done with all forms of progesterone supplementation by 14 weeks.

Buuuuut…as predicted yesterday when I contacted my OB’s nurse to try to set up an appointment, she has not yet called me back. I can’t remember how much I blogged about my problems with her during my last pregnancy, but she is a NIGHTMARE to deal with. I love my OB, but I can’t go through my entire pregnancy fighting for her to call me back. Her voicemail says that if you call after 4, your call may not be returned until the following business day. Right, completely understandable. But I called at 9:30 YESTERDAY morning. You are not that busy.

I had problems with her not calling me back for DAYS last go-round. This was unacceptable as I was wrought with fear and panic, cramping, had relatively low numbers, and I just wanted to know what was going on.

So I have begun the search for a new OB. It’s equally nightmarish. I’ll find one that looks good, but see one horrific review, and that’s enough to send me scampering away. I had Tim text a friend whose wife is pregnant and see where she’s going. She had a miscarriage in January ’09 and it took them a while to get pregnant again, so we’re kind of like-minded about pregnancies.

I think I’m just going to go with him – the husband likes him a lot as well, and he practices close-ish to our house, at a hospital I trust. I’ll probably give him a call on Monday.

Posted by: Court | May 13, 2010

9 weeks

Though the drive this morning to the RE’s office was a bit rough, I managed to eat a little bit and not throw up in the parking lot, so I’d say it was a successful trip! : )

This was my last appointment at their office! I have graduated to my OB. It was kind of bittersweet. EVERYONE at the RE’s office is a joy and was sincerely excited about our baby. They ooh-ed and ahh-ed over the ultrasound pictures, giggled with us in the room while pointing out arms, legs, brain, stomach, etc. My favorite nurse asked us to come back and visit and I told her we’d bring the baby! I love my OB, but his nurse is pretty much a nightmare, so oh well.

Today’s ultrasound was neat because we saw the baby move!! Barry White’s “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe” was playing on the radio and baby almost did the shimmy in there (not that he/she can hear yet, but it was still cute)! He/she was wiggling all around and that was really neat to see – I think it was my favorite part. We brought a DVD and they recorded it all! We also saw his/her spine for the first time today. Absolutely amazing!

In other exciting news, I get to start weaning off the Crin.one next week!!!!! O.M.G. I cannot wait. I have to keep taking it every morning for one more week, then I get to go to every other day for two weeks, then I am DONE! I started to feel really sick the day after I started Crin.one so I’m hoping I’ll be feeling better shortly.

My first ultrasound measured me a couple of days ahead of what I thought I was, so I have been going with that date because…hey one day closer to meeting our sweet babe! But now it has consistently been one day behind that measurement (if that makes any sense at all), so I am going with those measurements now. I am 9 weeks today, have been measuring exactly one week of growth each Thursday, so that’s perfect!

All along I’ve been reading a week “behind” in all of the books and on Web sites. For instance, I would read about 9 weeks today, rather than 10. I’m realizing that I’m actually in my tenth week, but I started reading the 10 weeks stuff, and it’s mostly geared toward “at the end of the 10th week, your baby will be X size.” And clearly that’s not currently the case since I’m at the beginning of week 10. So I think I’ll stick to reading the weeks I’ve completed.

It was really cool to see the picture of how big the baby is in “Your Pregnancy Week by Week.” I’ve never made it this far before so I was in awe looking at the picture of the little baby and how big it was! I showed it to Tim and it blew his mind as well.

So little one is rockin’ and rollin’, and I’m looking forward to hopefully feeling better soon. All in all, a great update!

Posted by: Court | May 6, 2010

Hope I’m not starting a trend here

What a rough morning…

I woke up early to shower before the u/s appointment. I had to get out at one point because I thought I was going to throw up. I didn’t, and we left for the appointment at 7:20. The car ride was rough. I tried a few sips of the morning sickness tea, but it made me sick to even think about drinking more. We finally got to the RE’s office and I asked if we could sit in the car for a minute. Tim agreed. Then I threw open the car door, leaned over and threw up in the parking lot. Poor Tim just rubbed my back and said he was sorry I didn’t feel well, and offered me a napkin.

I felt better for a few minutes, but have since felt bad again. I was enjoying the fact that no matter how nauseous I felt, I hadn’t thrown up yet. I read that 8 weeks was the worst, and I thought, whatever. But then I threw up at 2 a.m. the morning of my 8 week mark, and threw up this morning too. I couldn’t even eat dinner last night, and I haven’t been able to eat this morning either. It’s awful. I wish anything sounded appetizing.

On the plus side, baby is rockin’ and rollin’ at 8 weeks, 1 day. We saw his/her bladder, and could see little arm and leg buds, as well as that pretty little heartbeat. And the bleed was nowhere to be found! So it looks like I’ll have one or two more appointments with the RE, then will graduate to my OB.

Posted by: Court | May 5, 2010

First real bout of sickness

Last night was a nightmare. Aside from the after-effects of my ectopic, this was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Seriously, I was already doubting my ability to give birth without an epidural because I couldn’t imagine the pain being worse than what I felt last night.

Without going into too much detail, I had major *ahem* gas pain issues. I hadn’t had a BM in several days and apparently haven’t been eating enough fiber. I woke up at 2:18 and spent TWO HOURS in the bathroom. Some of that time I was just sitting there, dozing off, because I was still in pain and knew it wasn’t over.

Oh yeah, and I threw up. Twice.

I can usually do the mind over matter thing pretty well, but the need to throw up was so overwhelming, I knew there was no turning back. My whole body became sweaty and I was shaking. Poor Tim couldn’t very well be in the restroom with me (well, I suppose he could have, but he wanted to give me privacy, which I appreciated haha), so he sat awake in bed the entire time. After the first time I threw up, he was concerned and came knocking on the door. I asked if he could bring me some water, which he did, along with an Altoid. : ) After two hours of that nonsense, I felt like I could go back to sleep, so I did.

He’s off to get me some E.a.rth M.am.a A.ng.el B.ab.y morning sickness tea this afternoon.

I am 8 weeks pregnant today. Back for another u/s tomorrow!

Posted by: Court | May 4, 2010

7 weeks, 6 days

What an adventure this baby growing is proving to be.

I am an absolute mess of hormones right now. I was watching Little People, Big World last night while force-feeding myself applesauce and Special K, and I got really emotional. I had the overwhelming urge to cry for no reason. But then my senses kicked in and I realized that all of that heaving from crying would likely make me vomit. So I decided to suck it up. Then I threw half of my cereal down the drain, took a shower, and hit the hay a bit before 9 p.m.

I am constantly hearing that it is essential to be eating at least once per hour to keep nausea at bay. I am finding it to be very true. Unfortunately, the only things that I can consistently stomach are saltines and dry toast, and those just don’t sound so yummy after two straight weeks of consumption.

I find it extremely odd that I have no interest in sweets. I, the Queen of Sugar, have temporarily abdicated my throne. My co-worker commented today, “You eat so healthily when you’re pregnant!” It’s true, but mostly because I can’t stomach the thought of anything greasy, sweet or otherwise unhealthy. I’ve read that your body craves what the baby needs and has aversions to things he/she can do without. Makes sense, no?

Last weekend, while in a sleepy haze on my couch, I *thought* I wanted an A.rb.y’s sandwich and one of their vanilla shakes. Together. As in, I was wishing I could have a scoop of the milkshake on top of the roast beef. What?! Unfortunately, I’m mostly afraid to send Tim out for special orders now because a) I’m afraid they won’t sound good by the time he gets back with them and b) I can only eat half of whatever it is.

At last week’s appt, my RE said to keep taking the Zofran and try the acupressure bands. I told him I already had, and he said to keep them on constantly. Hmmm…yeah, still not working. They’re just leaving itchy, indented circles on my wrists.

So I had another u/s and baby was looking awesome with a strong heartbeat. The RE did notice a small bleed, however. He was perfectly calm and said they’re fairly common in early pregnancy. He just asked if I would be able to take off work for a couple of days and keep my feet up. So I did. I spent Thursday – Sunday on the couch. And while I have implemented a ban on Googling anything pregnancy-related (other than weekly status updates), I decided to check out a bit about this bleed. And apparently, they are indeed quite common, and usually resolve themselves.

I’m going by my RE’s reaction and am not concerned at this point. We’ll do another u/s on Thursday to check on it, and baby as well. Tim hasn’t been able to see baby yet (except for the pics I bring home), so he is excited about this appointment.

Posted by: Court | April 28, 2010

Morning sickness update

I think I have officially ruled out Preggie Pops as helpful with morning sickness. I had one yesterday while I was making my toast for breakfast and all of a sudden I had to rip it out of my mouth and run to the sink. Thankfully, I have not yet thrown up, but feeling like I’m going to all day is no picnic.

Yesterday I told Tim that maybe I would like grilled chicken topped with shredded cheese for dinner. While I was eating it, it was so lovely to have some protein instead of carbs, carbs, carbs (I’ve been eating lots of dry toast). But I may have eaten it too quickly. My tummy hurt afterward.

So the Sea Bands didn’t do anything, from what I can tell. But they’re still in my purse in case I get desperate and want to try them again. My purse is hilarious right now. There is a plastic Target bag (pre-checked for holes) in case of an emergency, Sea Bands, Zofran and a tin of A.lto.ids (peppermint flavor). I noticed late last week that plain T.rid.ent gum took the edge off a bit so I had Tim buy me some regular A.lto.ids and just taking a big whiff of the tin makes my stomach settle a bit.

The Sleepytime tea is nice because it’s something other than ice cold water (which continues to help, along with burping), and has a bit of a calming effect.

I am 7 weeks pregnant today. Tomorrow is my next appointment with my RE. I have no idea what we’re doing, but I’m hoping for another u/s since he wasn’t there for the last one!

Posted by: Court | April 26, 2010

Please don’t rock the boat

Whew. Morning sickness took on a whole new persona this weekend and kept me knocked on my butt or lying down ALL weekend. Seriously, I hit the couch as soon as I got home Friday, and only left it to use the restroom and go upstairs to sleep in our bed.

Going to work this morning was rough. Tim drove me since his car is in the shop, and I’ve read that if you’re going to be in the car, you should be the driver. But I don’t want to focus on driving when I feel like this.

So far I have been eating mostly dry toast. I tried applesauce today and got about halfway through it. I had a baked potato with just cheese on it for lunch and made about halfway through that as well. Only one of my lunch companion co-workers knows about the pregnancy and she could tell I wasn’t feeling so great.

Here’s what’s helping so far:

– Burping. I know…it’s gross. But it seems to let some pressure off my tummy.
– Fruit popsicles. They don’t upset my tummy. Tim got some B.re.yer’s pure fruit popsicles and the raspberry are great!
– Cold water. Ice cold.

Here’s what’s NOT helping:

– Preggie pops. OK, I’ve only tried the Lemon and Green Apple but they almost make the nausea worse. The sour thing isn’t really cutting it so far.
– Zofran!! I had some leftover from the ectopic and it had worked magic with that nausea, so I was excited that it might do the same for this bout. No luck. It doesn’t even take the edge off. Frustrating.
– Eating often. Maybe I’m not eating often enough? But I’ve tried to keep some food in my tummy frequently, as they say it helps, but it’s not doing anything. I could only eat part of one piece of dry toast this morning.

Things I’m going to try next:

– Continue drinking lots of cold water.
– Try Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime tea. Peppermint gum helped a bit last Friday, so I hope peppermint tea will help as well – read about this earlier.
– Try those wristbands they use for people who get seasick. Will I look ridiculous? Probably, but I don’t care at this point.

I am currently 6 weeks, 5 days pregnant.

Posted by: Court | April 22, 2010

6 weeks, 1 day

It started off as the morning from Hades. I got up early, feeling queasy and nervous, and got ready for the day and my u/s appointment. I was really upset that Tim couldn’t go with me, but such is the life of a freelancer’s wife. : )

I got my lunch and snacks ready to go, then went to look for our GPS. It was nowhere to be found. I was throwing up prayers to St. Anthony, which are usually quite helpful, but I was at a loss! I tried calling Tim, and A.T&.T was being ridiculous and dropping every single call I tried to make. I was getting frustrated quickly. I tried texting him, knowing he probably wouldn’t hear it if he was in the car.

I finally said out loud, “Please, Jesus, I need this to work!” and my next phone call went through. : ) Turns out, we’d left the GPS in my car the last time we went to the RE under the front passenger seat (I can’t believe we forgot to take it out, but it seems to be no worse for the wear).

I had also written out directions from Go.o.gle maps (easier to read my big handwriting than the tiny print-out directions), so I brought them with me. Long story somewhat shorter, I spent over TWO HOURS trying to get to the doc’s downtown location, wandering through all the crazy one-way streets downtown, because A) I only copied the address down as 800 XX Street, when it was 3800 XX Street. That was due to my hasty copy/pasting of the address into Go.o.gle maps. and B) Even when I did put in the correct address, the GPS was still telling me to turn all kinds of weird ways, even when I was already on XX Street!!

This is the first time my GPS has really steered me wrong, but I was panicking, as Tim couldn’t talk very long, I couldn’t get the doc’s office to answer the phone, and I was watching the minutes tick by on the clock to 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes past my appointment time.

I finally arrived (really due to trial and error), angrily unplugged my GPS, threw it in my purse and hurried out of the car. I went inside and the staff was SO sweet. I was really surprised and half-expected them to be pissed that I was so late. But the office was empty (the office I usually visit is always busy, busy, busy) and they said they understood and that people often get confused with the directions. I literally waited five minutes and was called back.

The nurse was also so sweet and a very calming presence, especially after I told her of my ectopic and I just wanted to be sure that the baby was in the right place. Immediately after she started the u/s it was clear that baby was in the perfect place, nestled inside my uterus instead of my fracking tube.

The great thing about this doc’s offices is that he has a giant flat screen TV for patients to watch the ultrasounds, so you’re not craning your neck to see the tech’s screen or read his/her face. Anyway, she showed me the baby with her pointer and I thought I could see a flickering, but I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. She had said we might not be able to see the heartbeat this early, so I wasn’t anticipating it. But she said, “Oh, hey, I see the heartbeat!” So. Cool.

I put my hands on my head and almost said out loud, “Thank you, Jesus.” I wish I would have, in fact. Instead I said it in my head, and fought back the tears welling up in my eyes. The baby measures at 6 weeks, 1 day, +/- 2 days (I am a charting genius, apparently, because I had calculated 5 weeks, 6 days, even without knowing when I ovulated – just based on s.ex.).

When the nurse left me to change back into my clothes, I snapped a pic of the u/s photo with my phone and texted it to Tim with the message “Meet our baby!!!!!!!” I then went to the lab to have my progesterone checked. As that was all happening, Tim texted me six times. He was so excited.

I know they say once you see the heartbeat that you have such a super-small chance of m/c, but of course I’m still a bit antsy. I know I ovulated late and had read things in the past about that not being ideal, but this one feels right. With the first one, I had an awful feeling it wouldn’t end well. With the second, I was wishy-washy. With this one, I just feel like now is our time. Weird? Maybe.

Tim’s mom has just entered hospice care and Tim said he believes our baby will be healthy because his mom will soon be leaving Earth and not too long after, our baby is due to enter it. The circle of life.

Also, there was talk of having me take Pr.o.ver.a again this cycle since I hadn’t started AF last time I was at the RE. He couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t started AF, since it looked like I had ovulated from my left ovary (the good side, after the ectopic). So that’s when he had the blood tests done and said not to take Pr.o.ver.a until we had those results back. Well, I never heard the results because I found out I was pregnant and they became irrelevant. Interesting timing in all of this. That if I had gone ahead and taken the Pr.o.ver.a, it would have been disastrous. Interesting that the results seemed to be “taking longer than usual”…God was up to something!

Nausea has started to get feisty. I never had much nausea with Joy, and with Daniel, I had none. Yesterday on the way to work I was trying to determine if it would be easier to pull over on the tollway to throw up, or if I should try to contain it in the Target bag I’d brought along. Thankfully I was able to keep it down. I force-fed myself some Saltines and felt a bit better, but overall, yesterday was rough. Today it’s not quite as bad, but I am finding it necessary to be eating once an hour or so, or I start feeling bad again.

I am exhausted, simply put. Going to bed around 8:30 – 9, though insomnia (that’s a new one!) has haunted my sleep for the past couple of weeks. Before my BFP I was wondering why I kept waking up. I NEVER wake up in the middle of the night. Now it makes sense. I wake up, and either have to pee, feel queasy, or can’t get back to sleep. Or a combination of the three.

But none of it matters. I am so thankful for these not-so-joyous reminders of the oh-so-joyous bundle that’s growing inside of me.

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